Extraordinary Machine

It’s almost the end of 2011 and this has by far been the hardest year of my existence.  I realize that lately a lot of my emotional fluctuation and disappointment has come from expectations I set not being met.  I need to realize that in relation to this situation I am not allowed to have any expectations.  Just because we see each other doesn’t mean our sensitive and complicated situation has changed.  It doesn’t mean she wants to be with me or that she trusts me.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  While I still have a goal at hand, I need to let shit go and start living.  I’ve made progress but I need to progress further.  Just wanted to note these thoughts because I might need to call upon them at a later time/date. 

Here’s to growth.